Many people start the healing process wanting “just to be normal" or for things to "go back to the way they were"; I certainly did, and I looked for a magic switch. Well, trauma survivors are not “normal”. At least, not in the bell-curve sense; even though we do have normal reactions to extraordinarily painful circumstances. We have lived through experiences that many people have not. So concepts like “normal” or “just like everyone else (which is not really everyone, but only people we know or hear about)” are simply not useful.
We can, however, grow into and thrive in a “new normal”. Everything changes; nothing is permanent. Including who we are. Being able to accept and surf fluidity, ambiguity, uncertainty, complexity, the coexistence of seemingly opposite concepts (good people can do bad things just as bad people can do good things) is a superpower that is comes with post-traumatic growth.
Growth is a creative process that requires the courage to constantly embrace new realities, try new things, and risk failure. When we understand how our experiences, relationships, resources, and environment have shaped us, our choices and actions, we discover our unique set of strengths, limitations, values, aspirations, and purpose. Then we can figure out how to achieve our aspirations and fulfill our purpose by playing to our strengths and working around our limitations in the context of the new reality. Self-knowledge is the basis of authentic confidence (rather than the narcissistic kind).
I am here to mentor you into becoming the best possible version of you.
Some of the ways I do this is by guiding you to:
develop constructive ways of questioning and coping with difficult sensations, emotions, thoughts, situations, or people so that you can focus attention on what really matters to you
establish healthy habits that support the release of no longer useful emotional memories in the body, which will allow you to feel and be your best
express what needs expressing so you can develop self-compassion and gain clarity
assess how your reality has changed, and supporting you through the process of grieving and letting go of your old reality and the old you
acquire new knowledge and perspectives that are useful for understanding your new reality and how your can thrive in it
analyze the pros and cons of trade-offs that need to be made in order to achieve what you want
develop healthy boundaries, realistic expectations, trust, and compassion in your relationships with family, friends, colleagues, and others
Along the way, we will celebrate successes, forgive and learn from failures. Growing takes effort; I will cheer and inspire you through challenging moments. It's not always easy to stay motivated, and it's not a linear path of progression. Sometimes we need a break; sometimes we need a nudge. Sometimes we need to be challenged; sometimes we just need to be comforted and assured that everything is/will be OK. It seems like a lot, but I see my most important task as constantly guiding you back to self -- You know what is best for you. The rest is just noise.